Ok, you know what? I've been staring at this blank New Post Box for a while now, and I'm not sure what to write. I don't want this to turn into a ranty blog... and it can easily become that because there's a lot in the world to rant about.

Give me some ideas. I'm floundering here. I'd like to make it a point to write on here daily... or even every other day, but I'm a bit stuck at the moment.

What do you think I should wax poetic about?

I need to quit reading comment sections. No matter what the topic is, there's always a handful of mouth-breathers who just post to be mean.

The latest thing I just read were people bitching about having to be politically correct. Ok, no one is forcing you to be thoughtful and courteous to other people, but don't you dare start complaining when people aren't being thoughtful or courteous to you.

I play an online video game and it's almost like people hide behind their computer screen. No one can see them so they have the courage to say whatever they please. Everything is either "gay" or "retarded", and "fag" get tossed about like a hot potato. And let's certainly not forget when someone drops the N-Bomb.

I really don't care if it's current-day vernacular. No civilized, compassionate human talks to other people like that. Sure, I may be a completely humorless "fag-enabler" (thanks Phelps family), but at least I have the ability to put myself in the shoes of other people and understand how it would feel if those epithets were tossed my way.

We all live on Earth. That's a fact. This is our only planet for now; and I truly think that if we're going to have to share this space, we may need to learn how to get along better. If that means we take care not to hurt one another with our words, then that's how it is.

"This little girl breaks laws."

Forgive me, I don't understand the whole Prop 8 thing.

It could be that because I live in Texas, I don't realize that there are people in the world who literally hate others so much that they'd make the official announcement of their love against the law. Because here in Texas, everyone is so nice, compassionate and open-minded.

Here in Texas, we are so firm in our self-worth and self-esteem that a hetero-couple would never have their personal ship of love capsized by a gay couple. We would never ever allow our bigoted religions to influence our beliefs that marriage is for everyone who is old enough to do so. We certainly wouldn't physically harm someone because of who they are attracted to.

Oh wait... maybe I do understand PropH8 a little too well. Maybe it shouldn't be a surprise that there are people in our world who believe it's ok to hate so much that they're willing to make it a law.

"You're an asshole, and I'm getting used to that."

I recently searched for information on mixed-orientation marriages (again, this isn't the first time.) and was disgusted all over again at how biased and misunderstood people are.

Here is what I'd want to tell people:

Straight men marry gay women too. Sometimes a woman will wake her husband in the middle of the night to come out to him. Sometimes she'll live a lifetime hiding behind the fear of coming clean. Sometimes she'll feel bamboozled by a society that tells women that to be someone we have to marry and have kids and submit to our husbands. We feel fear too, we feel like posers, we feel steeped in heterosexual privilege, we feel unheard and unwelcome. We feel alone.

I am a not-straight woman married to a man. I say "not-straight" because I'm not sure what term I should use. I recently (today) called myself Sexually Gray. That's how the blog idea came about.

Nothing is simply black or white. Not politics, not religion, not gender, not anything...there are so many gray areas that it is truly unlikely that we'll ever be able to pigeon-hole everything like we seem to want to.

I am not bisexual. Or, rather, I do not consider "bisexual" to be an adequate term for who I am. I like the term "queer" but even that isn't quite right, and I'm currently dealing with the feeling that I'm a poser trying to glom onto... something... I'm not sure... you get the idea.

So, until I find a label, if I ever do... I'm Gray. I'm so gray. There is no calculating how truly gray I am.

This blog will chronicle a journey, of sorts, I'm sure.

J

Two Dimensions?

I think not.